07 February 2007

And now for something completely different...

I received this in a e-mail from a friend today and it's too good to keep to myself. No idea of who the author is. Is it you? E-mail me and I'll give you credit. :)


I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for Lola [my dog] and was standing in the check out line. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because the last time I tried it I ended up in the hospital, but that I had lost 50 pounds before I awakened in the intensive care unit with tubes coming out of almost everywhere and IV's in both arms.

Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to just load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package says the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I thought something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no. I was sitting in the road licking my butt when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.


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